One word can describe a multi-billion dollar internet empire. One word can describe the largest social networking site on the planet. One word can put two completely unrelated words together into a compound word that wasn't in the Webster's Dictionary until very recently: "Facebook". Facebook is the largest social-networking site on the planet and most likely in the known universe. Created by Harvard student Mark Zuckerberg, Facebook continues to be the largest and most dependable form of socializing, advertising, blogging, gaming, and most of all, stalking.
With that being said, there are many different kinds of Facebook users. These are known as the different "species" of Facebook users. They come in all sorts of shapes and sizes and credibility as real people. All the while you could say you've been messaging with some eighteen year old girl who's really hot, but in reality it's just a forty year old man still living with his parents. Facebook is the source for all the creeps on the internet to come and "get their fill" of stalking and harassing.
However, not all users are evil. There are many different species of Facebook users that good. However, just because they're good does not mean in any way, shape, or form that they're always welcome and don't get annoying most of the time. Here are nine of the most common types of the "good" Facebook user.
1. "THE GAMER"
Well all know these people. The people who "over-play" Facebook games and keep sending constant requests to their friends that just never end. These can be either they "need a tool to help paint their shed" in FarmVille or they need another member of their mob in Mafia Wars.
2. "THE EVENT COORDINATOR"
No matter what, these guys will create an event. Even if it's for the stupidest damn shit you've ever heard of. Wanna come see their new baby boy? RSVP. Want to come over and see their new TV? RSVP. Wanna come over and celebrate their cat's birthday party? What do you think?
3. "THE DESPERATE MARKETER"
These guys always have advertisements running on the site for God only knows what. It seems like they're always trying to sell you bootleg NASCAR gear, bootleg movies, bootleg Metallica T-Shirts; The list goes on and one. Sometimes, people are dumb enough to fall for it and click the links, and all I have to say about that is...stupid people.
4. "THE HORRIBLE PHOTO TAGGER"
The one's who always tag photos that belong on damnlol.com. The duck faces, the bad tans, the funky nose jobs, the poor quality? All these and more mean nothing to these people. A teenager or woman could practically tag herself in a picture with her tits pretty much hanging out, just because she loves that damn function.
5. "THE RASH"
The one who looks at your profile, your pictures, your statuses, your notes, and your videos more than his/her own. The one who always likes and comments everything you write and post even if it's not funny, witty, or trashing anything. Regardless of whatever you write or post, even if it's a changed relationship status that you're depressed about, they still feel the need to comment and say "aww, that's too bad :("...
6. "THE QUIZ TAKER"
The user that always has to take those damn quizzes. What KISS member are you most like? Paul Stanley. What animal best describes your sex life? The howler monkey. What Poison song best represents your life? Nothin' but a Good Time. No matter what, even if it's nonessential to human existence and survival, they'll still post and like about how the band Nirvana bests suits their personality...
7. "THE PASSIVE AGGRESSOR"
The person who always starts fights on Facebook. They just always start trouble with anybody by either making fun of them or people they like. These guys are assholes, and will cleverly rehearse any comeback for any insult you dish out to them. Of course, you'd only be trying to insult him/her just because they started it and are always starting it.
8. "THE INFANT PROFILE"
Oh wow, these guys are ridiculous in their own right. Adults doing it? Not so bad. But when teenagers take a picture of their babies and make that picture their Facebook profile picture, it's pretty bad. First off, we don't care what your teen pregnancy result looks like, we don't care how old it is or what foreign exotic name you gave it. Like I said, adults? Fine. Teenagers? Freaking weird...
9. "THE FILTERLESS"
Silly enough, these guys are kind of like a mixture of all the other species. These guys show no mercy in their status updates, photo tags, link posts, and note writing. They could upload pictures of some of the most disgusting things in existence, post a status about taking a shit and examining the length of the turd. They could post a status about having sex and exclaiming how good the orgasm was. Nothing can stop them from just "sharing their mind"...
There you have it, the nine main Facebook users? Which one do you think you most relate to? Most people would find that they relate to none of the users. However, everybody who's anybody relates to at least one. Some people are just like these characters, while others are barely like them.
Well, that's all I have for you today. Check back later for more hilarity!!
All pictures courtesy of http://www.theoatmeal.com
No comments:
Post a Comment