Top 10 Arnold Schwarzenegger Movies - Pt. 1

AWWW YEAH!! Welcome back to C-Bass's Corner right here on Blogger. Today, we're going to talk about movies. Yeah, movies, what other thing do I talk about besides sports, internet, or pop culture phenoms. Yeah, well let's talk about Arnold Schwarzenegger. With his comeback currently in the works, Schwarzenegger is ready to win back the arts of action-movie freaks around the globe. Schwarzenegger is one of those guys that has seriously made some pretty bad movies. Movies like Junior, Red Sonja, Hercules in New York, Conan the Destroyer all bombed at the box office and made Schwarzenegger look like a worthless fool. However, for every five bad movies, Schwarzenegger has at least made one American classic. I'm here today to count-down the top ten Arnold Schwarzenegger movies that I've seen, or I've seen enough of, that really were something good; or strange, but still good.

#10 - CONAN THE BARBARIAN (1982)

Conan the Barbarian

Personally, this is one of those movies that I've seen and heard enough of to include it on this list. It was one of Arnold's first major action movies, and chronicled him as Conan, the young boy who grows up to become a large warrior on a quest of revenge. The movie was lampooned for its buffoonish supporting cast, it's cheesy effects and its confusing and bizarre story. Though these set backs kept the film from achieving greatness, it's Schwarzenegger that is remembered well for this movie, keeping it in the mainstream and giving himself a new array of acting jobs to accept. Where else can you find such classic lines as "Grant me revenge, and if you do not listen, then to hell with you!" Schwarzenegger's acting is so weird in this movie it's practically considered both not acting and acting at the same time. He can swing a big sword and make grunts, but he doesn't understand the term "enunciation". Still, check out Conan the Barbarian if you're in the mood for a good laugh. However, the movie is kinda ruined by Conan the Destroyer in 1984, so watch out...

P.S. I haven't seen the remake, but I've heard surprising things about it. Consider checking that out, too. I believe it's a more "serious" take on the story...

#9 - JINGLE ALL THE WAY (1996)

Jingle All The Way

Yes, watch out! Schwarzenegger goes "goofball-dad" on us. In this heart-warming Christmas film, which I already mentioned in my Christmas Month Volume VI post, Schwarzenegger plays Howard Langston, a work-oriented father who doesn't spend time with his wife (Rita Wilson) or son (Jake Lloyd). When his son demands that year's hottest toy for Christmas, it becomes a no hold-barred brawl between him an a disgruntled mailman (Sinbad) to get that toy for their sons. It's a pretty good flick, and I pop it in every year at Christmas; sometimes twice or three times. It was one I grew up with, and I had a Turbo Man action figure from that movie, which was a limited edition release and now it's insanely hard to find! eBay demands high prices for these figures! Oh well, back to the post. Schwarzenegger delivers his witty one-liners in this movie, such as "You started it" after punching a charging reindeer in the mouth; "Aww, poor baby" after tripping up Sinbad with a radio-controlled car, and the action figure's witty one-liner becomes Schwarzenegger's: "It's turbo time!" It's a fun movie, and believe it or not, one of Schwarzenegger's better family films. It's a lot of laughs, cheer and yuletide Schwarzenegger.  Have fun with it in Christmas 2012...

#8 - KINDERGARTEN COP (1990)

Kindergarten Cop

Schwarzenegger sure has a way of bringing himself to do such ridiculous things in family films, and the comedy Kindergarten Cop is no exception. Kindergarten Cop is one of those movies that's good for everybody. If you like romance movies, it's perfect for you; if you like action movies featuring Arnold Schwarzenegger, it's perfect for you. So here's the premise: Arnold plays a cop by the name of John Kimble, an underpaid detective who just busted a character by the name of Cullen Crisp (Richard Tyson) for shooting an informant who gave him information on his missing wife (Penelope Ann Miller) and son (Christopher and Joseph Cousins). However, the charges are at risk as the girlfriend of the informant refuses to testify. It becomes apparent that in order to keep Cullen in prison, his missing wife must be found and persuaded to testify. Together, Kimble and detective Phoebe O'Hara (Pamela Reed) travel to Astoria, Oregon to take over teaching a kindergarten class that Crisp's son is enrolled in. After O'Hara gets food poisoning, the tough-as-nails Kimble must take over her class. The rest of the movie is an action/thriller/comedy mixture that delivers on everything. We see Kimble struggling to keep a class of five and six year olds under control, we see Kimble beat up a child abuser who whipped his son before sending him to class. The end shootout in the school is a good bit of entertainment, and Schwarzenegger delivers his one liners as usual. Check this one out, too; it's a good one...





#7 - LAST ACTION HERO (1993)

Last Action Hero

This one is practically a film-definition of Arnold Schwarzenegger. This movie has all the action cliches, but it's supposed to for the purpose of telling the story. Schwarzenegger has more one liners in this movie than probably anywhere else. The premise is also fun: Schwarzenegger plays Jack Slater, a fictional action hero in the "movie-within-a-movie" universe of the Jack Slater films. When a young boy named Danny (Austin O'Brien) receives a magic ticket from the owner of a local theater, he is transported into the latest Jack Slater movie whilst watching it in the theater. In the movie, Slater has no knowledge of anything outside his own little world world. He doesn't know that he's really Arnold Schwarzenegger, the famous action hero who plays these characters on a continual basis. In the movie, which turns out to be Jack Slater IV, there's two bad guys: Tony Vivaldi (Anthony Quinn) and his "right-hand man" Benedict (Charles Dance), the latter of course later kills Vivaldi and assumes the role as the lead bad guy. Later in the movie, Slater and Danny are transported back out of the movie into Danny's world. Here, Slater realizes who he is and that his life is just a made-up adventure. Later, Benedict hatches a plan to go into Jack Slater III and "borrow" from that film and use him to kill the real Arnold Schwarzenegger to eliminate Slater. As Danny says "No Schwarzenegger, no Slater".
This movie works off all the action and action movie cliches. While banking on the fact that everyone knows what sort of cliches there are, it does manage to work. The movie is often criticized for being too long for such a story, and having too much dialogue, a lot of it not pertaining to the story. With a run time of two hours and ten minutes, it is definitely long for a typical Schwarzenegger movie, with the exception of a few movies. Still, check it out; if you're an action-buff, you'll be in heaven...

#6 - END OF DAYS (1999)

End of Days

In the twilight of Schwarzenegger's acting career, he began to take less action-prone roles and focused on other genres. In 1997, he appeared in Batman & Robin, which floundered his acting career by having him say such ridiculous things. In 1999, Schwarzenegger decided to accept a film role that would have him duking it out with the lord of all evil himself; the devil. The Devil (Gabriel Byrne) enters the world to conceive the devil's offspring with the mother of the anti-Christ. The name of the girl selected to be the mother is Christine York (Robin Tunney). Meanwhile, Bobby Chicago (Kevin Pollack) is cop partners with Jericho Cane (Schwarzenegger). Together, Kane and Chicago corner a priest in a subway who attempted to murder a wealthy banker (who is later revealed to be the devil). It is later revealed that even though the priest spoke to Kane, he did not have a tongue, leading Kane and Chicago to believe something paranormal is happening.  The rest of the movie is nothing but a "tug-o-war" between Kane and the devil for Christine's life. There's a scene where Schwarzenegger is crucified in an alleyway, which is pretty gruesome seeing Schwarzenegger being treated like Christ. Oh well, it all warms up to the showdown between Kane and the devil. Overall, from what I've seen, it's a pretty good movie. A lot of people disagree, calling it a mangled mess of bad horror and cheesy effects, bad acting, and lousy casting. I still think it's good, but again, only from what I've seen. I have not seen this whole movie. I still recommend it though, based on what I've seen...

Check in soon for Part 2, which will encompass #'s 5-1...