The Room - "Citizen Kane of Bad Movies" (PLUS: An Honorable Mention)

Well, long time no see! It's been a while since I've wrapped up "Joker-a-Thon", and I meant to do a fourth entry in the "Thon" entitled "Nicholson vs. Ledger", but I scrapped it for two reasons: 1) Schoolwork was becoming a bother, and the time for a fourth entry did not fabricate, and 2) I already stated some "N vs. L" comparisons in their respective posts, so a fourth post chroniclizing that would prove to be sour and repetitive. So, I scrapped it, and ended Joker-a-Thon...

However, now it is February, and new material is upon us. Like The Room! If you have no idea what The Room is, you are in for a treat...

The Room poster

The Room began as an independent movie produced, written, directed by and starring Tommy Wiseau, a creepy-looking, yet laugh-out-loud enjoyable man of indescribable origins. Tommy Wiseau is known for his indefinable accent of slurs, blurs, and druels. What I mean by this is simple: He talks like he's both drunk and overdosing on Nova cane. His lips move one way and his tongue moves another, but nobody cares because you know what? He's AWESOME! He's now actually considered one of the greatest filmmakers in history for reasons no one can fathom. Most likely, it's because he can act so badly and terribly, that it seems like good acting and everyone loves him for it. Seriously though, Tommy Wiseau is like one of the greatest filmmakers on the planet...

Tommy Wiseau
Director/Writer/Producer/Star

So, anyway, more about the movie. Well, the movie was released to lampooning by critics and a dismal box-office performance. Critics hated the buffoonish acting, the awkward story-telling, the lousy character developments, among other things. However, much like the popular "The Rocky Horror Picture Show", which was also a box-office disaster, The Room has garnered "cult-status", enjoying late-night screenings all over the world. Nowadays, in terms of tickets sold, The Room is second only in the world to Rocky Horror, and neither film shows no signs of slowing down.

So, let's talk about each character real-quick. You have Johnny (Tommy Wiseau), a banker who is in love and plans to marry his fiancee Lisa (Juliette Danielle). However, things take a turn for the worse when Lisa begins fuckin' around with Johnny's best friend Mark (Greg Sestero). Together, with sidekick Denny (Philip Haldiman) and Lisa's mother "Cancer" (Claudette, played by Carolyn Minnott), Johnny begins to figure out Lisa's misdeeds and the film climaxes in...well, see it yourself.

A Spoon - The mascot of the movie

Now, where this movie really shines, is audience participation. In that, during the screening, the audience is free to yell anything they want at the movie while it is playing. Now, look to your left on the screen. This is called a "spoon", and it has become the mascot of the movie. Anytime during the movie, that someone or everyone sees a spoon, you simply take a handful of spoons, hurl them at the screen, and yell "Spoon!" as loud as you can. A football is also fun to bring and to throw around while the people in the film throw them around. The screenings of The Room are as chaotic as they are a blast. 

Other Things To Remember For Your Next Room Screening:

• Every time Greg Sestero's character appears on screen, you yell "Sesterone!"
• Every time Lisa's mother appears on screen, you yell "Cancer!"
• Every time Denny arrives, you yell "Oh hi Denny!" When Denny exits the scene, you yell "Bye Denny!"
• Every time there's a tracking shot of San Francisco, you say "Meanwhile, in San Francisco!"
• Every time there's a tracking show of the Golden Gate Bridge, you yell "Go! Go! Go!" until the shot reaches the end of the bridge.

All in all, The Room is fun. It's more than just a movie, it's an experience. I'll love the movie until the day I die. Tommy Wiseau is a genius for putting together such an honorable piece-of-garbage film. In fact, maybe the film isn't garbage. Maybe we're not looking at the "artistic" aspect of the movie...or maybe it just sucks. But Tommy, you are the man. Today, Tommy Wiseau stars in his internet-exclusive show "The Tommy Wi-Show", produced by Machinima, in which Tommy and a creature simply referred to as "Alien" reviews modern-day video games.It's pretty good, and show's the Tommy's fan-base expands that of even Justin Bieber (lol). Well thanks for reading, more February stuff coming soon (I hope)...

An Honorable Mention...

<Only my friends will get this. If you do not know me personally, you may log off now>...

Oh yes, I almost forgot. I was gonna write an extended blog post about this, but upon further drafts, I realized it would be too short, and it would be "bare-bones"; no details. So, I just decided to stick it in at the end of my Room post (Interesting location). So, I'm now forced to admit that "I love Alex Bidner". Take that however you choose, but I was told I had to say the words "I love Alex Bidner". It is true, do not get me wrong, but I had to vocally or "textually" say it. So Alex if you're reading this, you win. I love you (haha). Take that seriously if you will, or joke around with it like you plan to, I does not matter to me. However, I'll suppose I'll end my blog post today with the picture of you stuffing your face with the disgusting taste of Rice-Bitz or whatever they were, captioned "true awfulness". 

Yes, this should suffice...

Thanks for reading, and I hope you are satisfied...