Who is the Burger King?

We've all seen the famous king in his commercials, saluting Burger King's various takes on the famous whopper sandwich. But one question has plagued America...where does the Burger King hail from? What's he like? What's his favorite band? Movie? TV Show? Sports team?

The Burger King has been a presence in American advertising since the early 21st century. Unfortunately, no one knows for sure his history. However, a man by the name of George Gunther Jr. came forward with information never once heard by a human ear. Gunther relates the chilling tale taking place in 1931, which thoroughly explains the Burger King's arrival.

"...I was sitting on the back porch of my farmhouse with my pa and dog late one night. My ma had died from the 'farmer's itch' two years prior. After about ten minutes, my pa glanced out into our cornfield. I wasn't sure what he had heard, but y'all can be sure that it was something bone chilling. Suddenly, a bright flash occurred in the sky, and moments later, we witnessed a giant metallic fireball falling from the sky. It crashed into our corn field, and half of our crops erupted into an uncontrollable inferno. That following morning, we rushed out into the field with my pa's rifle, and found the remnants of what looked like a giant metallic spacecraft. We began sifting through the wreckage, and I found the remains of a half-eaten cheeseburger. The field now smelled vaguely of fried hamburger and cheese. It was a sight I'll never forget..."

Gunther Jr. still lives on that farmland today, where he and his father first sighted the clues as to a presence of  a cheeseburger-peddling extra-terrestrial. Gunther explains later that he and his wife and their son, Gunther III, returned to the house five years ago, and still remember the night.

The Burger King has been in American advertising since the 21st century, advertising the Burger King's whopper sandwiches and many deals. However, no one knows how he got to be in the job industry. No one, except Ronald Huffman, CEO of American advertisements on channels 3, 7, 11, 15, 22, 48, 59, 66, 71, and 105. He claims to remember encountering the creature in a pine forest. The following is an excerpt from Huffman's memoirs "I Remember the King...Burger King":

"...My buddies and I were hunting in the Alpine Forest in Arizona around 1949. We were hunting wild elk that were reported maybe getting into the state perimeter. While hunting, we stumbled across a young man, mid-twenties, wearing nothing more than a loincloth and eating a two-patty cheeseburger against a tree. I could have shot him, but he let out a loud squeal that split my ears, and then picked up his food and rocketed off into the wilderness. I knew from then, I had to find him..."

Huffman has up until 2003 hunting for the King and trying to sign him to a big fat contract of marketing. Marketing for whom? David Edgerton and James McLamore. These two men have had their own encounters with the beast. In 1954, they remember, they had an encounter with him in the wilderness in northern Alberta, Canada. Edgerton retells the story to us:

"...McLamor and I were searching Canada for investors for our company. We had no luck in the previous days and unfortunately still had no luck. We left McEarlman Publishing with no funds for a food chain we were trying to start. It wasn't until we came across a man eating a cheeseburger on the side of the road in northern Alberta, Canada. The wilderness blocked some of his face being exposed, but we knew he was a real deal. We chased him throughout the forest and finally cornered him in a cave. In his cave, there was a giant money pile. We asked him if he had considered advertising for a major commercial chain. Before he could answer, he ran off. Needless to say, we took the money and founded "Burger King"..."

The chain stands to this day. Of course, Edgerton and McLamor refuse to release where they got the idea for the "Burger King" name. It wasn't until 2003 when they tracked down the King again, this time working in an office building in Ontario. It was here that Edgerton and McLamor were able to have him finally sign a contract to advertise for Burger King. It was then that the creature, who has paralysis in his facial muscles, resulting in a permanently frozen face, was dubbed "The Burger King".

Still, many things remain secret about the King's past. We will post more on this story as soon as we have the information to post. Until then, see if you can meet the Burger King yourself...